Betty Page died this month. She was 85. I found this quote from her regarding her having posed nude:

“When I turned my life over to the lord Jesus I was ashamed of having posed in the nude. But now, most of the money I’ve got is because I posed in the nude. So I’m not ashamed of it now. But I still don’t understand it.”

Does she not understand why she got paid for it? Or she doesn’t understand what prompted her to do it in the first place? Likely the former. There isn’t much to understand why receiving a livelihood is important.

I like looking at 50s pinup girls. They seem in such stark contrast to many of today’s centerfolds. Not so skinny and without implants. Yet Betty exuded such an aura of sexy, feminine power. She is mesmerizing. She still  radiated beauty and happiness into her old age. Even though she had this to say about growing old: “I don’t want to be photographed. I don’t want my fans to see an old, fat — this old face.”

In response to her many fans, she had this to say: “I just don’t understand why they look up to me. But I’m very grateful.”

Have you ever worked in an environment where one person of the group negatively affected the rest of the group? Whenever that person is nearby, everyone feels somber and downtrodden. But when that person leaves, it’s like the sun is shining again. I once worked for an organization where the president was like this. Whenever he was away for travel, everyone had 20 pounds lifted from their head. it was like birds started singing, people skipped down the halls, and there was unmistakable happiness in the air.

People give off vibes, energy, or moods. However you want to call it. Those vibes are either positive so that people around feel good when in the presence of the person giving it. Or they are very negative and we all feel a little more tightly wound and stressed when that presence is around. The person with the power to permeate the room with positive or negative energy is usually the leader in some capacity. She/he has a leadership qualities, personality, or a position that puts her/him in a leadership position.

So what happens when the leader emanates positive and inspiring energy? Everyone feels it. It is like electricity passed from one person to another. This is how I felt watching President-elect Barack Obama give his speech last night. This man is a powerful and positive force that has electrified not only the country, but the entire world. Watching the reactions of people around the world who were so joyous about the election of the US’s president was really amazing. Can you imagine feeling that joyous about another nation’s newly elected president? Likely not because no one else has commanded this much influence. Obama is a force. And obviously a leader in all respects. With record voter turnouts and a history-made election, it is clear many would agree. It feels good to catch this positive wave.

Human beings were designed to get a LOT of sleep. I know there will always be someone who says they need very little or feel great after 6-7 hours. I think they are kidding themselves and don’t really know what amount of sleep they could feel good with. For many in this crazy modern world we live in, It is a rare occurrence to get a really good night’s rest, myself included. My biggest problem is having the discipline to go to bed when I am tired rather than finding something else to do.

So for that reason, I am here to proclaim how much I LOVE the end of daylight savings time. Give me another hour and I will show you a productive human being! I look forward to it every fall. It is a chance to start anew. Others’ resolutions occur on January 1. Mine happen the day daylight savings ends. I have a renewed energy to get more done, to be a better person,  to take better care of myself and to become a MORNING person!

And there is evidence that everyone does a little better when this happens. Statistics show that less car accidents occur after we gain an hour and increase when we lose an hour. Everyone needs more sleep to function normally! We could also stand to have a mid-afternoon siesta too but so far there is no government/country-wide mandate for that like there is for daylight savings.

While on the topic of resolutions, here is a great website to take a look at:

http://www.acomplaintfreeworld.org/

I hope you will feel inspired to create a complaint-free world, get more sleep, and be better….

I have learned some life lessons recently. They are old lessons but I needed reminding. And these lessons seem to surface again and again from odd places and from different sources but the overall message remains the same.

1. No one has ever made me angry, frustrated, anxious, scared or hurt. If I have had those feelings, it was because I chose to react that way. No one makes me do or feel anything. If I am angry all the time or anxious all the time, it is because of me. We make ourselves crazy. No need to blame it on anyone else.

2. I have no problems. All I have is now. All I will ever have is now. Really, right at this current moment, do you have any problems? Constantly living for the future (or the past) is no way to live. The future does not get better if you fail to enjoy and embrace what you have to experience right now. The future is merely more current moments. If you can’t appreciate them now, what makes you think you will ever appreciate them?

3. Doing things right 70% of the time is good enough. Enough with the guilt, blame, anger, shame, and feeling less then. So I couldn’t handle doing 5 tasks at the same time and doing each “perfectly.” So what!

4. Less tv/media. More books.

5. Breathe. Big deep breaths that let you know how good it is to be alive.

6. Love. Did you know holding someone’s hand can lengthen yours and the other persons’ lifespan? It helps to increase the strength of each others’ immune system. It also lowers blood pressure. Talk about mutually beneficial activity!

Now on to enjoy the moment and realize how much more there is to learn……

I am not a big Beyonce fan. But her newest song “If I were a boy” is great. Very heartfelt. Her vocals are much better in the range of this song than her other songs, in my opinion. Her energy flows better rather than her other “hyper” songs. The song’s lyrics are also very clever. This is a song about how empathy in relationships is key. Until you can truly understand the others perspective and how your actions affect another, the relationship may not have a chance. In this song, Beyonce longs for the man in her life to understand her and empathize with her.

If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I’d be a better man.
I’d listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
Cause he’s taken you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed

If I were a boy
I could turn off my phone
Tell everyone it’s broken
So they’d think that I was sleepin’ alone
I’d put myself first
And make the rules as I go
Cause I know that she’d be faithful
Waitin’ for me to come home (to come home)

However, she is not optimistic about her relationship. In the end, she decides the sexes will never see eye to eye, at least in this particular situation.

But you’re just a boy
You don’t understand
Yeah you don’t understand
How it feels to love a girl someday
You wish you were a better man
You don’t listen to her
You don’t care how it hurts
Until you lose the one you wanted
Cause you’ve taken her for granted
And everything you have got destroyed
But you’re just a boy

I also find this verse interesting. It seems she interprets being a man as having a freedom that is unavailable to women. Yet in this song, she seems to be faulting him for having that freedom. As if it is a character flaw.

If I were a boy
Even just for a day
I’d roll outta bed in the morning
And throw on what I wanted then go
Drink beer with the guys
And chase after girls
I’d kick it with who I wanted
And I’d never get confronted for it.
Cause they’d stick up for me.

Yet I think women could stand to learn some life lessons from some general male characteristics, like when to say no and when to say it’s ok to be selfish. That maybe a healthy relationship involves some healthy me time. Without venturing into narcissism, putting yourself first may actually be a good thing. Making the rules as you go may be right since no one else is walking in your shoes. Except in the context of relationships, it needs to be valued above all other things if it will last.

You can take a listen to Beyonce’s new song here. The video shows the story of her walking in her man’s shoes for a day and how she interprets his emotionally unavailable actions and disregard for her feelings. And, you can also see see how hot Beyonce is in a police uniform.

I like this song because often, in my relationships, I have wished I could be him for a day. To really know his perspective. To walk in his shoes. To feel what he feels both physically and emotionally. To really know him. What an eye-opening day that would be.

Good girls go to heaven,

bad girls go everywhere.

~Mae West

I thought it would be good to hash out here on my little blog why I am not in favor of reviews.  I can understand why they are considered important. They are often relied on and encouraged from both sides and that is within their right. Reviews are often paramount to many service industry’s success. Many people don’t consider going to a restaurant without reading a review first.

I guess it may come down to the overall goal. My goal is to establish relationships. I hope that I would meet someone and the stars would align in those moments we were together. Where everything would click so well that the chemistry in the air was palpable. And he would leave with a lasting positive impression and contentment and count the days before we could see each other again. Ideally we would both feel that our lives are that much better for having met and gotten to know each other. I know. Very idealistic and somewhat naive. But why not shoot for the moon? Really, if you enter into a situation thinking “well this review said this and that, but this review said that and this,” your apprehension has already determined how the evening will go.

There are many variables that change how a meeting with someone can go. One’s mindset likely has the biggest impact. But consider a woman’s biological cycle. It can have huge influences in how she feels toward anyone, let alone a new man in her life. There are physical issues like hormones, headaches, sore muscles, cramps, and aching feet that can have an effect. There are also things like cars needing repair, stopped up plumbing, and rain after a salon perfected hair do.

Reviews don’t seem to effectively capture the human element. Surely everyone has met people personally or professionally that they have liked so much that they have been more generous to them than would be normally be in a similar circumstance. Consider the guy who writes a review after having an extraordinary time. His review will not help you. Or consider the guy who hated his experience because there was no chemistry for a variety of reasons. His review will not help you either. Maybe you would really hit it off with her, unlike the situation with him.

I can certainly understand why a review would be wanted. It is often a premium luxury expense and informed buyers need to know. I don’t know what a perfect system is. But here are a few ideas. Of course this would depend on the kind of experience you are looking to have. But if the objective is to have a deep and meaningful connection,  I think the “shopper” should do some work. He needs to see what he can learn about her to determine if she might be compatible with him. He should find someone with an adequate website to read about her personality and bio. Better yet, finding someone with a good blog (wink, wink) may provide enough of an indication to her personality to determine a good fit.

My other idea is to mentally prepare yourself. If you go into any encounter with a hesitant, worried, fearful or negative feeling in your brain, you have already determined how the evening will go. What if you entered the situation with “This is going to be great! I am so happy to meet her! We will most definitely hit it off. We will have the best evening.” Or simply think “Love, Peace, Joy.” Good things come from good things. You are more in charge of the encounter than you think.

Of course, I haven’t discussed the very negative side to reviewing. There are some truly spiteful individuals in the world who hope to bring others down in any way possible. And I am not just speaking of the clients. Other escorts post fake reviews to bring another escort down.  And there is also the problem of girls misrepresenting themselves such that their pictures are not true to their current appearance. That is unfortunate and puts everyone else who is being honest and truthful in a bad spot. There is also the issue of reviews used as blackmail. This is obviously wrong and disturbing and I don’t see the need to say anything more about that.

So obviously I don’t have all the answers. I hope for repeat encounters. And I hope that I can see that one gentleman again where the chemistry was explosive and my thoughts kept returning to “Where has he been my whole life?”

For whatever reason, I am often asked what my best physical attribute is. I’m not sure why the asker doesn’t just figure it out on his own, but I’m happy to oblige (at least on my blog). So here are some “best of’s” I have gotten from others so none of these are self-generated. In fact, some of them were surprising to me.

* Best lips
* Best eyes
* Best stomach
* Best (softest) skin
* Best nipples (that one makes me blush)
* Best hair (no doubt on a good hair day)
* Best butt
* Best legs (the actual comment was “best legs in Atlanta.” Dave, wherever you are, that one still makes me smile. Thank you!)

I know many women have a hard time taking compliments. In fact, that might be true of both sexes. But guys, you sure know how to give them about things women may be most self-conscious about. So whatever you do (and whatever her reaction), don’t stop!!

Sarah Palin is a beautiful woman. No doubt this contributes to her popularity. But what does this mean as a world leader? I think we can see evidence of what it would mean in the recent encounter between Palin and Pakistan’s president Asif Ali Zardari. He called her “gorgeous” and another Pakistani official admired her ability to look so good given all her responsibilities. Zardari then was photographed with an obviously s##*-eating grin. During this photo shoot, he flirted with her adding he hoped they would be encouraged to hug.

So what would happen if beautiful woman ruled the world? In order for there to be a real difference in world politics, they shouldn’t rule ALL the world. Just key super powers. Things would happen and get accomplished that were previously impossible. All other male leaders would agree to things these comely ladies implored of them. This might happen even without them realizing why they were complying. We should allow all inspectors to examine our nuclear weapons program at any unannounced time? Sure, no problem. You would like us to impart sanctions on this other country until they comply with your interests? Of course! Do I get a hug? You betcha!

We need only look at history to see some of this effect. Cleopatra’s rule was established after her exile because of her ability to bring Caesar and later, Antony to her aid. It was not merely physical attractiveness that was relied upon. Cleopatra had personality and a bold, fearless temperament which likely counts for more than what a pretty face can implore. She convinced her beholders of her allure beyond the skin deep.

So why has there never been a woman head of government for these major world players: U.S., Russia (and former USSR), China, Japan, Italy, Spain, Australia, Brazil or Mexico? Women not ambitious enough? These are cultures that don’t value female leadership? Those vying for power not beautiful enough? Discuss.

In any event, I found Palin’s feminine approach to the VP debate to be refreshing. She frequently set aside competitiveness in favor of mutual respect by telling Biden she respected him and the decisions he had made. Perhaps we have yet to witness the power of feminine wit, manner and beauty in world influencing decisions. Would the world be a better place? It would be more diverse. More viewpoints would be considered. Other ideas would be added to the table. The answer to that question is obvious.

I recently had this sent to me. As a wine fan, it resonated with me

The Hormone Guide

Every woman knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver’s license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, co-worker or significant other!

DANGEROUS: What’s for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine.

DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Wow, you sure look good in brown!
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine.

DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST: Here’s my paycheck.
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine.

DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a piece of chocolate with that?
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine.

DANGEROUS: What did you DO all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn’t over-do it today.
SAFEST: I’ve always loved you in that robe!
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine.